Look

it takes about a week
a week for things to get back to normal
after you tell them

tell them something almost nobody knows
it takes about a week
but
that's if you see them every day

but
I don't see you everyday

in fact
I see you about twice a week

so how long
how long will it take to get it back
the normality we're used to

I want to loose this look
of whatever it may be
that caused your eyes to grow sad
as you whispered

I'm sorry

I can only nod
with this look on my face
I can't tell what it is
but I feel it there

confusion
sadness
a pinch of anger perhaps

it needs to disappear
vanish
be gone

away with ye
oh torturer of souls
and consciences

bring back the smiles
the laughter

the bright eyes that I know so well

ok, so that last post was a little dark for me..

i'm just so tired of, almost everyday it seems, learning that a friend of mine has been hurt. it just plain sucks.

why do we hurt each other? what makes people sick? i really want to know, and take it out of everyone's heads. I do believe that people are inherently good. there is just something there, a tweak in the right place in their minds, and they just snap.. I get where liz is coming from saying that she's lost faith in humanity. But I don't believe it. there are still good people out there. I believe that I am one of them. I am fighting for tolerance, for people not to wreck each other's lives. especially not kids.

seriously guys

why? is it humorous? do you get your kicks from fucking up kid's lives? how are you so sick.. you people need to get some help please and stop screwing the world over.

this club has waaay too many members, i hate it. i feel powerless to do anything though. i cant stop kids from unwillingly joining the club. too many..


sorry if my outburst earlier caused some alarm, just fed up. fed up about all those bastards

fuck,
I don't want to think about it totally because I'm afraid of what will happen.
I'll wait till tomorrow
when lindsay is here
and I won't have to cry alone

grr..

fuck
people who fuck up kids lives
psychos
fucking psychos


I have an internal dilemma
whether to be sad
or angry
or whatever else I can feel

fucking bastards...

Overwhelmed

sooo today..

was going so well

beautiful weather

jeans and a t-shirt kinda day



so I texted her

asked if she wanted to get some coffee

the usual place



I walked in

ordered my coffee

and she arrived



We sat outside

talking

she explained everything

let me down gently



I understand

completely



It still sucks



I feel like I want to cry

almost

but not quite



I feel

I feel

I feel



Overwhelmed

ever listen to a song that reminds you of someone and it makes you want to cry?

that's how I feel right now.

longing I suppose

Oh Velocity Girl, What makes you go so fast?

I can't keep up with you.
Can't stand to be alone
think you should be with me.

ah man.. I don't know what's going on anymore...

Anybody got a book of answers I can look through?

That'd be handy right about now



sigh


stream of consciousness
loads of fun

Don't you understand
I'll just stay here in your arms.
x2
x3
x4


listening to snow patrol

I wanted somethin that's purer than the water like we where its ot there now in eloquence and anger are all we have like saturn's rings an icy loop around me to hard to hold lash out first at all the things we don't like or understand

And It's beginning to get to me That I know more of the stars and sea than I do of whats in your head

amen brother, amen

Don't have to prove you are so strong


You are the only thing that makes sense
just don't ignore the present tense

Oh God
I need some help
help
please
amen

music
it flows like rivers through my brain
the tributaries meandering through my fingers onto the keyboard
light up light up
The riffs of the guitar
the beat of the drum
even the soft piano
My heart beats to match
iambic
light up light up
I'll be right beside you
my body becomes the instrument
for whatever music is produced
be it song
words
breath
light up light up
I'll be right beside you
Even if you cannot hear my voice

It feels so weird to not wear a ring
on my left hand
on the ring finger
It is empty
no rings now
earlier, sure
now though
none

Shut your eyes
just imagine
imagine for me
please

And when the worrying starts to hurt
whether it is for yourself
or for another
Just close your eyes and tell

you could be happy

you could be happy

I hope you are

This song, at least this half,
is what Jesse is saying to me

You could be happy
I hope you are
You made me happier
Than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own
Smells of you
And for the tiniest moment
Its all not true

Do the things you always wanted to
Without me to hold you back
Don't think just do

More than anything
I want to see you grow
Take a glorious bite out
The whole world.

I don't wanna run, Just overwhelm me.

well now..

I switched rings
I switched mind frames
I smiled
and I said, "I'll call you."

I feel


free

Free to explore
and to hope
Free to hug
and maybe even flirt
but not for a while

No
Not for a while

My heart needs some time to chill

Maybe this is all for a reason

All of it

We will become
What we will

Sanctuary

I reeeeally want to go play kingdom hearts. Just to see the opening video, and the end one too.

snoitome eurt deen I
My heart's a battle ground
snwod dna spu ynam os


For the longest time-the first time I heard this song till about 5 minutes ago- I thought she was speaking Japanese. Go figure.



"You show me how to see that nothing is whole, and nothing is broken."