chevelle

D
Am I alone in here?
Bm
Am I alone in here?

D
Knew you were here,
Bm
Sister confirms suspicions,
D
And beside the note,
You left on my bed
Bm
Where I held you close.
D
Did you think I'd forget?
Bm
Couldn't be more of a mess,
D
For to breathe,
Used to be another way,
Bm
I'd take you in.

Em D
It's time to wake up,
Em D
And separate feelings
Em D
That I keep falling into.
Em D
Each seem like good reasons,
Em D
Oh I feel a break down,
Em D
I don't care if it shows up,
Em D
I'm praying this for you,
Em D
'Til it's answered I'll say.




Now it seems there's a choice,
That began with a break,
So today,
Know that never again,
Will I know you that way.

Well it's time to wake up,
And separate feelings
That I keep falling into.
Seem like good reasons,
I'm gonna break down,
I don't care if it shows up,
I'm praying this for you,
'Til it's answered I'll say.

Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?
Am I alone in here?

First Eng. IV Assignment aka. There Was a Cild Went Forth

We walk into class and after a lecture he gives a a Walt Whitman (iheartWW) poem entitled There Was a Child Went Forth. He read it aloud and then told us that our first assignment would be to write our own poem using the first stanza as our fist stanza and the last three lines as our last three lines. I was all smiles, here's mine:

There was a child went forth every day'
And the first object she look'd upon, that object
she became;
And that object became art of her for the
day, or a certain art of
the day, or for many years, or stretching
cycles of years.

One early morning the child,
bleary eyed, she gazed
out of the window.
Beheld the rising sun
and this she became.
Shining her smile wherever she went.

A puppy, she observed
full of love and energy
and this small creature
became a part of this child.
In the size of her heart
and the courage contained within

Many things became a part of this child
Mountains with snowy tops
pebbles from playgrounds
Sunflowers as big as her head
and little white wild flowers
that popped up every year
as sure as the sun will rise

All these things became a part of this child
and she took them
everywhere she went
They formed her and became
more defined as she grew

These became part of that child who went forth
everyday, and who now goes, and will always
go forth everyday.

god dammit girl..

think a free thought
a new one
one you've never thought before

invoke that
revelation

the baby's cry to the world
as sweet as honeysuckle

think a free thought
cry out

let the world hear what you
have to say

Don't live,
EXPERIENCE!

little one

ah little one, may you come to understand one day
may the world open up
may the pain dissolve
may you be loved
even greater than you are now

Re: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 "Look"

Whatever it was between us now seems to have dissipated
for that I am grateful
It was a long and awkward time for us both I'm sure

Thank goodness for coffee
it has saved our friendship from certain uncertainty
and brought us back to our former selves with each other

I'm glad that he was in your life
but I'm also a little glad that you broke it off with him
just a feeling of selfish hope

Hope, probably unfounded but whatever,
but also the restoration of good spirits
between you and me

Here's to hope
Here's to friendship
Here's to him

I'm on a Quest

Yep, its a quest. One to find the true Aimee beneath the skin. Beneath the lofty string of unconnected thoughts. My quest is to really get down to the bottom of things e.g. my soul. I don't know how long it will take but I think I'll know when I get to the end. Wish me luck ^^

Happy Father's Day

I love you dad, thanks for loving me and accepting me for the totally weird chick I am. Thanks for always being awake when the inspiration for art hit me, and not telling me to go to bed. Thank you for crying with me and for being able to just sit in silence.

I love you

I wrote that one a couple of days/ a week ago
I think he's finally gone

Get out of my Head

You
yes you

its time for you to leave

so go away
leave
get the fuck out
and please
let the door hit you on your way out


this is my head
and you're not going to be a part of it anymore
thank you very much

no more crying
no more fear

my eyes won't get sad
when he asks a simple question


but even now
just thinking about it
i still feel you here

GET OUT
God dammit..


this bracelet
reminds me of him

a simple braid
strong

when it breaks
or when I take it off

either way
i know i'll be ok

i just hope it's soon
or do i

but that's just you talking again

You
Are
Not
Wanted
Here




sincerely,
me

The Beginning

It was autumn in the Great Forest, and the trees showed it. They sighed and whispered to each other in the golden sunlight of daybreak. Comparing shades of red and gold, maples and birches stretched their limbs. The rustling of leaves woke the boy. Silverleaf opened his eyes. His diamond-shaped pupils dilated in the sudden light. With a yawn he sat up, stretching his arms behind him. The tent flap was pushed back and the motley-clad boy emerged.

It had been fifteen years since she had found him, wrapped in swaddling, nestled between the roots of a grand oak. He had grown slender and tall and was threatening to leave her behind. The forest embraced Silverleaf, and he embraced the forest. She watched as he learned the mysteries of flora and fauna alike.
"Good morning Briarthorn."
"Good morning love, breakfast?"

short story

(yay, I'm finally getting back in the groove of just posting on here, no drama ^^)

so in english, each 6weeks we have to get 600 pts (which reaaaally helps grades if you suck at grammar) and for this last one I'm going to write a short story

she gave us a paper with a few lists of characters, settings, and plot elements and we have to choose like 3 of each

my choices so far: an animal, a gypsy, and a teenager; tent in wilderness, tribal culture, and battle scene; foreshadowing, dark night of the soul, and actual journey.

hopefully this turns out rad

we have to illustrate as well (woot^^) min. 2000 words
i'm pretty excited. now I need names, and a plot lol

prejudice

So in African American studies yesterday something interesting happened..

Pretty much the point of the class is to study African Americans' history, even before they became Americans. Mr. Taylor has tried teach that the stereotypes and the discrimination that they have endured is Wrong.

So here's what happened: A girl came in asking for a copy of A Gathering of Old Men for an English teacher. She received the book and left. The bell rang and everyone settled down. She came back a few minutes later and asked, a little loudly, for the movie, not the book. Her voice was a little deep and she had to talk over the kids in the class. Mr. Taylor said that he didn't have the movie, so she left. The moment she closed the door comments were made, quite loudly, about her voice. A riot of laughing quickly followed. I thought about saying something to the effect of, "Isn't this class about learning to not be prejudice?" but I didn't.

The class got quite and stayed that way for a few minutes. I could tell, and so could everyone else, that Mr. Taylor was not happy. He said softly that he had hoped that he had taught us better than that.

..

I'm Not Okay- My Chemical Romance

Well if you wanted honesty
that's all you had to say
I never want to let you down
or have you go
its better off this way
for all the dirty looks
the photographs your boyfriend took
remember when you broke your foot
from jumpin' out the second floor

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems
I told you time and time again
You sing the words but don't know what it means
to be a jokin' look
another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook
for the last time
Take a good hard look

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
the photographs your boyfriend took
you said you'd read me like a book
but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm OKAY!
I'm okay now
I'm okay now
But You Really Need To Listen To Me
I'm Telling You The Truth
I Mean It
I'M OKAY
trust me

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
well I'm not okay
I'm not o-fuckin'-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
--------------

*favorite line is "trust me"
** 2nd fav. "I'm not o-fuckin'-kay"
*** really good, fun to sing song ^^

Look

it takes about a week
a week for things to get back to normal
after you tell them

tell them something almost nobody knows
it takes about a week
but
that's if you see them every day

but
I don't see you everyday

in fact
I see you about twice a week

so how long
how long will it take to get it back
the normality we're used to

I want to loose this look
of whatever it may be
that caused your eyes to grow sad
as you whispered

I'm sorry

I can only nod
with this look on my face
I can't tell what it is
but I feel it there

confusion
sadness
a pinch of anger perhaps

it needs to disappear
vanish
be gone

away with ye
oh torturer of souls
and consciences

bring back the smiles
the laughter

the bright eyes that I know so well

ok, so that last post was a little dark for me..

i'm just so tired of, almost everyday it seems, learning that a friend of mine has been hurt. it just plain sucks.

why do we hurt each other? what makes people sick? i really want to know, and take it out of everyone's heads. I do believe that people are inherently good. there is just something there, a tweak in the right place in their minds, and they just snap.. I get where liz is coming from saying that she's lost faith in humanity. But I don't believe it. there are still good people out there. I believe that I am one of them. I am fighting for tolerance, for people not to wreck each other's lives. especially not kids.

seriously guys

why? is it humorous? do you get your kicks from fucking up kid's lives? how are you so sick.. you people need to get some help please and stop screwing the world over.

this club has waaay too many members, i hate it. i feel powerless to do anything though. i cant stop kids from unwillingly joining the club. too many..


sorry if my outburst earlier caused some alarm, just fed up. fed up about all those bastards

fuck,
I don't want to think about it totally because I'm afraid of what will happen.
I'll wait till tomorrow
when lindsay is here
and I won't have to cry alone

grr..

fuck
people who fuck up kids lives
psychos
fucking psychos


I have an internal dilemma
whether to be sad
or angry
or whatever else I can feel

fucking bastards...

Overwhelmed

sooo today..

was going so well

beautiful weather

jeans and a t-shirt kinda day



so I texted her

asked if she wanted to get some coffee

the usual place



I walked in

ordered my coffee

and she arrived



We sat outside

talking

she explained everything

let me down gently



I understand

completely



It still sucks



I feel like I want to cry

almost

but not quite



I feel

I feel

I feel



Overwhelmed

ever listen to a song that reminds you of someone and it makes you want to cry?

that's how I feel right now.

longing I suppose

Oh Velocity Girl, What makes you go so fast?

I can't keep up with you.
Can't stand to be alone
think you should be with me.

ah man.. I don't know what's going on anymore...

Anybody got a book of answers I can look through?

That'd be handy right about now



sigh


stream of consciousness
loads of fun

Don't you understand
I'll just stay here in your arms.
x2
x3
x4


listening to snow patrol

I wanted somethin that's purer than the water like we where its ot there now in eloquence and anger are all we have like saturn's rings an icy loop around me to hard to hold lash out first at all the things we don't like or understand

And It's beginning to get to me That I know more of the stars and sea than I do of whats in your head

amen brother, amen

Don't have to prove you are so strong


You are the only thing that makes sense
just don't ignore the present tense

Oh God
I need some help
help
please
amen

music
it flows like rivers through my brain
the tributaries meandering through my fingers onto the keyboard
light up light up
The riffs of the guitar
the beat of the drum
even the soft piano
My heart beats to match
iambic
light up light up
I'll be right beside you
my body becomes the instrument
for whatever music is produced
be it song
words
breath
light up light up
I'll be right beside you
Even if you cannot hear my voice

It feels so weird to not wear a ring
on my left hand
on the ring finger
It is empty
no rings now
earlier, sure
now though
none

Shut your eyes
just imagine
imagine for me
please

And when the worrying starts to hurt
whether it is for yourself
or for another
Just close your eyes and tell

you could be happy

you could be happy

I hope you are

This song, at least this half,
is what Jesse is saying to me

You could be happy
I hope you are
You made me happier
Than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own
Smells of you
And for the tiniest moment
Its all not true

Do the things you always wanted to
Without me to hold you back
Don't think just do

More than anything
I want to see you grow
Take a glorious bite out
The whole world.

I don't wanna run, Just overwhelm me.

well now..

I switched rings
I switched mind frames
I smiled
and I said, "I'll call you."

I feel


free

Free to explore
and to hope
Free to hug
and maybe even flirt
but not for a while

No
Not for a while

My heart needs some time to chill

Maybe this is all for a reason

All of it

We will become
What we will

Sanctuary

I reeeeally want to go play kingdom hearts. Just to see the opening video, and the end one too.

snoitome eurt deen I
My heart's a battle ground
snwod dna spu ynam os


For the longest time-the first time I heard this song till about 5 minutes ago- I thought she was speaking Japanese. Go figure.



"You show me how to see that nothing is whole, and nothing is broken."

The House We Built

*This piece, whatever it may become, is based off of an album of pictures from Laura Hetzel Photography. My friend Jordan is the subject along with an old abandoned house. Lovely stuff.

**Think it's done

This house that we built, if you want to call it a house anymore, still stands. It stands exactly where it has always stood. Between the two oak trees, set off from the road. My life has revolved around this house. I can remember when I would play around those trees as a young girl. Before the house came. I can remember lying beneath the branches, watching the shadows of the leaves dance across your face. Do you remember that day? The day we began building our lives? The day we began building our house?
It started as a blueprint in our hearts. As our lives grew more entwined the plans became more elaborate. Soon the white lines matched my gown as I walked the aisle. You looked at me from the end of the long carpet, with eyes filled with tears. Where are those tears now? Mine are all gone, I have none left. Not after all these years.
The walls went up first. We lined them with beautiful cypress, sanded smooth by the salty winds of the marsh. Some days I could only sit and watch you and our fathers work. Our little one was relentless. So I would sit under those trees, singing softly to my baby. Hoping that she would look just like you.
She was even more beautiful than I think either of us ever imagined. Her big brown eyes, always opened wide, staring at everything around her. We named her Estelle, after your mother and she grew up in this house. Even while we were picking out the color of her room she was exploring her new world. Remember when we had to put all the paint buckets on stools so she wouldn't take a dip in them? Our baby girl grew up in this house, running through the hallway and hiding under the quilts on our bed.
There are too many painful memories in this house. Memories of my sweet girl, and of you. You my strong, tall man. The oven still stands where it has always stood, in the kitchen against the long wall. Everything else in here is gone. Forever. Isn't it ironic... that the thing that took everything away from me is still here. It is the only thing I have left, except the walls. The black walls. Once blue, and yellow, and green.
My sweet little girl...
I can no longer weep. Please don't think badly of me for it. I just have nothing left to offer. You took my heart when you were born, and you took my soul when you left.

Curse my heart and all the flames in it.
They singe and burn holes
in the tender, en-flamed muscle
Curse my heart and all the flames in it.
They boil my blood
causing my whole body to writhe.
Curse my heart and all the flames in it.
My passion and compassion
eat me alive
Curse my heart and all the flames in it.
While my the rest of my body
is struggling to survive
Curse my heart and all the flames in it.
I need to douse them
with the water of affection.
Else the frozen nitrogen of an extinguisher
will need to be used.
For my mind is racing
and my body won't start
I need some relief
from my fiery heart.

I turned in that poem \/ down there to Godshall the other day. She called it a scroll ^^

It takes an Olympian effort
to climb a tree of Olympus
Zeus blessed this great redwood
with the gift of height
and of strength
for a reason
Niches and holes
in the rough bark
make a home for nymphs
and fawns.
As strong as Antaeus
my tree holds tight to the ground
drawing strength
from mother Gaea
The serpents living
in the roots are
ever trying to destroy
my Yggdrasil
Yggdrasil
tree of life
holder of worlds
I am trying to conquer it
My squirrley brothers and I
set out to climb our Mt. Olympus
our Yggdrasil
I look above me
into the great tangle
branches and leaves
and wonder what worlds I will discover
what new mythical creatures
are scurrying around
my Goliath
Perhaps David himself
is living here
hiding
for 2000 years
in the giant's warm embrace
We prepare for our treacherous climb
double check the harnesses
and lifelines
Strap on my helmet
it fits like a turtle shell
over my skull
Hopefully
protecting my mind
from becoming turtle soup
We start the climb
hand
over
hand
step
by
step
we climb
up
and
up
and
up
meeting birds
and branches
along the way
Rest for a spell
on a branch the size
of a tree itself
Eating peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches
we sit
with our feet dangling
high above ground
Looking down
from the middle of Olympus
is daunting
If you fall
you fall
and fall
all the way to
Hades
to visit Persephone
For hours we climb
hauling ourselves
upwards
until Finally
our quest is complete
Standing on a mountain
of a tree
above all other things
my eyes take in it all
The blue sky
The green tree tops
The purple mountains in the distance
I am on top of Olympus
I am a God.

Stone

My stone
My rock
As black as obsidian
As cold as Pluto
Inside my geometric shape
The wind blows soft
moaning and rolling
The sun is always at twilight
The gray grass is coated
with soft dew
It sways gently.
The world around me
turning and turning.
I am alone, in my quiet world.
Listen to the wind
it whispers secrets to the
rolling hills of grass.
I lay on the fertile land
and see the visions of the clouds
turning and turning.
My eyes close of their own accord
and the wind sings me to sleep.
The grass folds over my slumbering form
protecting me, holding me gently.
The world is still dim
The wind still blows
The grass bends gently with it's dew
I see the clouds once again
I stretch my arms
stand slowly
taking in the twilight world that is my stone.
But outside my stone
my rock
my geometric shape
The world is
turning and turning.


Poem I wrote for Godshall, I think it turned out well ^^

just a btw's

That Haiku post was #100


WOOT

hurrah for 100 in like 3 years lol

Haiku Time

ah, I crack myself up sometimes. I love poetry and I love writing it. So here's some haiku's I just made up.

fall colors worn at
all times some think its wrong but
it just feels so right

flannel pajamas
black and blue plaid hand-me-downs
used to be Andre's

writing haikus is
really great fun because they
really get me to laugh

five and and and and
seven and and and and and
five again the end

sorry and scrabble
sitting on the shelf look so
alone with no one

I count the different
syllables on my fingers
make sure it all fits

If You Weren't Here

Why wouldn't you be here?
Is it really that bad?
How do you rationalize?
We're you really sad?

If you weren't here
I think I would cry
Every day and night
Till the day I die

My thoughts would linger
In longing and wonder
What would it have been like
Without this blunder

All the moments missed
All the smiles gone
Why couldn't you stay?
What went wrong?

I'd miss you all
So please don't go
I'll eat you up
I love you so





Thank you "Where the Wild Things Are"

my life
is spent
caring

caring for others
caring for you

I love you
and you
and you

I know many people
and many are my friends
and I love a lot of them too

let me get to know you
I'll spread the love around

its what I'm here for

I'm here for you
and you
and you

Kingsolver's Words

So I'm altering Barbara Kingsolver's book: The Poisonwood Bible, and on every page I've underlined some words to create poetry here's what I got so far.

Imagine
frogs
hauling
and
arching
the
doomed
sympathy
world


mother
sets
Silently
Always
helpless
woman


measure
smaller
years
stuffed
wild


believe
In
me
One has only a life of one's own.


I am
Africa
I was
Africa
I did
Africa
I know
Africa
I know
Africa


slide
this
shake
it
take
it
away


bearing
concern
She
understood
all


mother
lost
the
Father
She
loves
we
prepared
his
beloved


considering
possible
pockets
she
feels
free

Music and Books

in times of great stress and anticipation
revert to music
first some hard rock
something you can scream to
then a soft one
sounds of silence
grab a good book
and soon you'll be pulled into a new realm
of music and words
mixing like fluid
imagery and beats
flowing in your mind